Motherhood is weird.
Yes, it is weird in the best sort of way. But, it is also just weird in a weird sort of way. Like, when you flash back to this regular occurrence during your pre-teen years circa mid-nineties–triggered, by all things, an interaction with your 20-month old:
Mom: Don’t give me that look.
Me: I’M NOT GIVING YOU ANY LOOK!!!! **CRYING** **GNASHING OF TEETH**
Motherhood is hard.
Clementine was about 3 weeks old and I made it to church for the first time. I was standing at the back of our contemporary worship service doing the newborn bouncy-rock thing you do, when our Sr. Pastor’s wife walked by. First, she oohed and awed over my sweet girl. But then she looked me in the eye and with so much compassion and understanding, said, “It is just so hard, isn’t it? It is the hardest thing you will ever do.” I could have kissed her, cried, and praised Jesus all in that moment. (And I may have…those days are a blur.) So much truth there. And Grace.
But we make is so much harder than it already is, don’t we? My inbox, blog list, and newsfeed is all full of anxiety-ridden article after guilt-laden list on the newest, best, most organic, and yes, even biblical way do this motherhood thing. (SPOILER ALERT: they all contradict each other.)
There are Dear SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) letters and Dear Working Mom letters, and neither serve much purpose beyond self-congratulation or self-condemnation depending on how your day is going. We are all busy, we are all tired, and no one is gaining a deeper appreciation for the “other” from any of this.
If we are honest, all of the angst-y judgment about how everyone else is doing all the things is really only about us. I know this because I was simultaneously annoyed by the PDO Halloween party signups again this year (but hey! at least they are walking and eating solids), and wrote an extra “Other” line on the form because I was late and all the spots were filled.
I’m not sure what is harder, having a little grace for you when you do things **GASP** not the way I would do them, or having a little for myself when the.exact.same.thing happens. But I’m too tired not to try something. This other mess is exhausting. So, what do you say Mommas? Let’s do something crazy and stop making this harder on each other than it already is.
Besides, Jesus loves you even if your toddler ate french fries and watched TV today. Maybe, especially so.